HOW TO TALK TO MY PARENTS ABOUT INHERITANCE | ESTATE PLANNING BASICS

Inheritance is simply succession to tangible and intangible things. While it can mean many things to inherit something that we have no control over, like gene traits, values, and personality, in a more tangible way inheritance means your succession to someone’s assets, properties, and accounts.

Estate planning is a conversation with an attorney about inheritance of the tangible things. Estate planning is a complex and sensitive conversation and as attorneys we see that many people do not reach out for help when they need it most. So how do I get started with estate planning

People procrastinate, don’t like to talk about their death, don’t like to spread bad spirits and dark talk, and usually just blindly optimistic that “everything will just work out.” While some of this is understandable, it is not very pragmatic and this way of thinking can be quite costly down the line.

Alternatively, most people don’t know how to approach this conversation with their parents, because they are either worried that they won’t take it the right way or don’t even know where to begin.

I believe that you can start a conversation about estate planning and inheritance with your parents or grand-parents using the below guide and cross this taboo barrier to make sure that they are protected and that all they work for during their life does not get squandered away or used against their wishes.

This is just my suggested guide to open this conversation, but you can feel free to adjust this however you want or feel is appropriate.

1. Set a separate get together with no distractions to make sure you have adequate time to discuss everything. It’s ok if they get alerted or weirded out, but most people are very friendly.
2. Talk about how US is a very formality and law-oriented country. Contracts, loans, mortgages, credit cards. Particularly important in first generation immigrant communities, or non-English speakers, where handshake agreements and verbal promises are more common.
3. Come to an understanding that everywhere you go you need documentation and proof, and this is evident in the world around you.
4. Ask them about their health and whether there is anything about it that you should know about. Ask for their honesty. Parents are often very reluctant to burden their adult children with. Try to get over that barrier as unpleasant as that may be.
5. Ask them if they thought about who would make healthcare decisions if they get really sick, hospitalized, or injured.
   1. Ask what if they have WRITTEN instructions to doctors on who can make healthcare decisions for them if they are injured or get sick.
   2. If they do, ask them where it is and whether you can see it.
   3. If they don’t emphasize that it’s important to have it properly drafted.
6. Ask them if they have thought about what would happened to their bank accounts, credit cards, or payments if they get sick or injured.
   1. Ask them if they have any WRITTEN instructions on who will make financial decisions for continued payments on cards, mortgage, bank accounts.
   2. If they do, ask them where it is and if you can see it.
   3. If they don’t emphasize that it’s important to have it properly drafted.
7. Then ask them if they have thought about what would happen if their condition worsens. Gently transition to asking if they have anything WRITTEN down to show what they want to happen if their condition worsens or they pass away. If they do, ask them where it is and whether you can see it.
8. Recommend that this is the kind of stuff that should be written down and clarified for everyone.
9. Recommend to look into this for them and recommend to set up an appointment for them with an estate planning attorney.

If you would like to speak to an attorney, please visit us at: www.aristovlaw.com/